મંગળવાર, 24 એપ્રિલ, 2018

Go not to temple

*Go not to the temple*
by Rabindranath Tagore:

Go not to the temple to put flowers upon the feet of God,
First fill your own house with the Fragrance of love and kindness.

Go not to the temple to light candles before the altar of God,
First remove the darkness of sin , pride and ego,
from your heart...

Go not to the temple to bow down your head in prayer,
First learn to bow in humility before your fellowmen.
And apologise to those you have wronged.

Go not to the temple to pray on bended knees,
First bend down to lift someone who is down-trodden.
And strengthen the young ones. 
Not crush them.

Go not to the temple to ask for forgiveness for your sins,
First forgive from your heart those who have hurt  you!

*Very Very Beautiful*

રવિવાર, 22 એપ્રિલ, 2018

Retirement an analysis

Retirement then and now....

*A must read article ........... till the last line.*

Speech by P.P.Ramachandran

(After serving in the 40 years service in RBI)

Now, I will revert to the subject allotted to me, “Living Happily  After Retirement”.  Retirement is a problem peculiar to our generation.

In the times of our fathers and grandfathers, retirement was not much of a problem.

There are three reasons for this.

First, Life Expectancy.

Fifty years ago, the life expectancy at the age of retirement fixed at 55--was 60. 

A study of Government records revealed that very few people enjoyed pension for more than five years at that time. 

Most people died before sixty and consequently spending five years after retirement did not pose any major problem.

Today Life Expectancy at retirement at 58 or 60-- is 75 years which means half of your working life is still left after retirement.

To give you an example two Senior Officers of RBI died at 93 years—35 years after retirement.

The second reason is the change in the family structure.

Half a century ago most people were in a joint family. The day you laid down office, you still had a large family around you.

Surely, in a large family there was always something you could do that was meaningful and made you feel you were contributing to the family.

Today the family has become nuclear—husband, wife, children. By the time one retires, the children have gone away.

In good old times, daughters used to get married and promptly go away. Nowadays sons get married and shift on and for First Night itself !

What is left is the old couple—You for Me and Me for you. This is not particularly easy to accept and adjust to after retirement.

The third reason is the problem of “Roots.”

In halcyon days, people used to have a “native place” and an “ancestral home”. 

They looked forward to going there and settling down after retirement. Today except for Leave Travel Concession purposes,

there is nothing left in terms of native place.  People often are confused as to where to settle.

These three problems make retirement planning a crucial item. If you have planned for retirement you can anticipate and tackle

these problems. People are not accustomed to the idea of staying by themselves. If one asks an audience of prospective retirees and their wives “How many of you expect to stay after retirement with your children, hardly one hand goes up. If some husband raises his hand, his wife immediately slaps it down saying, “I’ll be damned if I am going to stay with my daughter-in-law!”

So it is a tough problem to think about old people staying—just the two of them. This makes planning all the more significant.

The most difficult problem that we face after retirement is the Psychological one.

When an executive retires, he is at the peak of his career—his status, prestige and financial acumen.

The moment he lays down office, all these desert him. He discovers that “Everything becomes Less and Less”.

The first thing he notices is the way his status and prestige are affected. Even at home, the retired person is no longer

the important person. If he demands of his wife an early breakfast, she will promptly admonish him, “You are retired now. So take it easy. Let those employed go first !”. He is no longer “Numero Uno”.

A friend of mine who was a Senior Executive in RBI was getting 500 Greeting Cards and Diaries for the New Year. After one year of retirement it dwindled to fifty and this year he got ten. Greeting cards and diaries are surely an indicator of the respect you are held in.

The most immediate problem on retirement is time-arrangement.

We all have twenty four hours at our disposal, whether we like it or not. When you are a Senior Executive you work for

ten, twelve or even fifteen hours and you feel “Suppose I had two hours more how nice it would be!. Life would be easier.”

After retirement we have twenty four hours and nothing to do! Result – misery and this is one thing one likes to spread! No man wants to be miserable alone. He will make as many people miserable as he can. A man who has nothing to do will harass people around him. Turning on head the Benthamite principle of maximization of welfare—maximisation of ill-fare!.

There are two solutions to this problem.

One is to continue to do the same work one was doing at the time of retirement.

The first option is very convenient but where is such an opportunity for the majority? There is the temptation to wangle out an extension but this does lead to compromising principles which many succumb to regrettably.  I have seen Senior Officers accepting jobs as liaison officers and standing outside the cabin of their subordinates and seek  favours from them. But how long-lasting is the solution. Extension merely postpones the problem. It crops up again quite swiftly.

The second option is to do something different, i.e., option to get another job.

An executive can get another job provided he is willing to sacrifice self-respect. Generally jobs are given by the previous employer’s suppliers. Cases are legion where army, navy, air force officers are caught for espionage in such employment.

In commercial organizations Officers are employed to get orders and collect bills speedily from their erstwhile Employers.

So you will agree that this is no solution.

All of you are aware that the Bard of Avon-- William Shakespeare wrote of the “Seven Stages of Man”.

Modern psychologists have abridged it to four and these are thus.

Before finding a girl      —   Spiderman

After engagement     ------   Superman

10 years after marriage  -   Watchman

20 years after marriage  -   Doberman

After this lighter side I revert to post-retired life.

The retired official is likely to fall into four dysfunctional time options.

The first is “Withdrawal”.

Many retired people, the day they retire from Office withdraw from Life and within a few months they just pass away.

When you ask a Doctor he will tell you I can give a Medical term but this is case of “simple lack of will to live”.

The second time management option is “ritual”.

A person can create a ritual for himself. He gets up at a specific time, does different activities at a specific time and this invariably results in misery for others if that specific time frame is not adhered to. While he has in essence nothing to do, he is trying to make his activities meaningful. This leads to a meaningless ritual.

The third option is Pastime.

Many people get together and embark on a combined ritual which is called pastime. This too does not add to the meaningfulness of life.

The last option turns out to be even mischievous. It is playing games—

Not physical ones like badminton, tennis but psychological ones where you try to manipulate people, get into their problems, complicate them and generally enlarge the tension around you. Many a respectable person indulges in this and creates problems where none existed.

The alternative to these are Functional options.

The first is become a Consultant.

Lurking inside every executive is a Consultant. But for this considerable expertise is required. All are not Consultants.

The second option is to start your own Business or industry.

But this calls for entrepreneurial qualities which an executive may lack. Many are the cases where lakhs of rupees have turned into thousands!.

The third option is to involve oneself in professional activities.

For this one must build up one’s position even before retirement. Many cliques operate to prevent outsiders from encroachment.

The fourth is to get into spiritual activities.

While nobody is required between you and God, nowadays, we find more and more godmen, swamijis, pseudo Gurus some even US returned. There is a temptation to follow some Swamiji or even become one yourself. This is a very slippery slope. Beware –there are more hoaxes in the religious field than anywhere else!.

The last and most meaningful option is to cultivate a Hobby.

Use your creative abilities and do something that you enjoy doing. You should start this even while in service.

We live in three Boxes.

First is the Box of Learning,  which starts from birth and goes on till 20 plus.

Second is the Box of Work  which commences at 20 plus and goes on up to 58 or 60—the age of retirement.

Third is the Box of Leisure.  When we are in the Box of Work what is significant is Status, Prestige, Power — all these we aspire for and it is what we get from Life. The more we get ---the happier we are.

The day we retire we move into Box 3—the one of Leisure.

If we have to enjoy this we have to change our psychological position and appreciate creativity, autonomy and integrity.

When you were a small child of two or three did status, prestige or money  mean anything? What you wanted was autonomy, creativity. A child is always creative. It enjoys creativity. One example. When visitors come you ask your child, “Pushpa -Sing 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star'”. She will not sing. You shout at her. You tell your visitors proudly she is three only and knows Twelve Nursery songs. The moment the guests are gone and your servant comes for cleaning, your daughter will sing to her all the twelve songs. The child has its own values!

By the time we enter the Box of Work values change. We are not taught to respect our autonomy but fall in line— Conformity is the rule. If the son plays the violin his Mother will come and tell him, “Playing the Violin now ? When will you Study ? Maths is very scoring. If you get centum admission to IIT is easy. Life is competitive, dear son.”

When we enter the Box of Leisure again values change. Your psychological position has to be changed. New values of creativity, integrity and autonomy emerge. Hobbies are an excellent way of getting Leisure Value. Everybody must identify his hobby that he can enjoy. Do not bother about Power, Prestige and Status.

An individual can live in one box only or interchange or combine the boxes. You can have learning, work and leisure together.

One can even take up a hobby that is financially productive. As time passes one learns.

The real problem of retirement is that people refuse to face the problem. The mantra is “Let us cross the bridge when we come to it.” This is not correct. Since we live in three Boxes we must prepare ourselves for crossing from one to the other. Structuring our time is the prime requirement. In the beginning you are contributing to Value. Think of Transfer Value. After retirement you can think of Leisure Value. Develop good hobbies which incorporates your creativity, autonomy and integrity. I have taken to Letter writing. (Rajaji , Kalam and H R F Keating.)

You will lead a happy life. Retirement is not adding “Years to your Life but adding Life to your Years”. Retirement is not a

calamity but an opportunity.

I shall advert to some basic qualities one must cultivate.

There are two ways to look at every situation in life. Is the Cup half empty or is the cup half full. One man was not worried about his becoming bald. He declared “I have less hair to comb!”.  Another man in identical situation moaned, “I have more face to wash !”.

Always remember that you are loved, even when it does not seem like it.

Believe in yourself and your values. Don’t sell out when things go wrong. Don’t let anything get you down. Always bounce back.

Set goals for your future and never settle for anything less.

Realise that there are others in this world with bigger problems than you. Appreciate the good things of Life. Sunrise, Sunset, Flowers, Birds. Be thankful for the good times you have with your loved ones. Spend more time with your family and friends.

Appreciate the simple things of Life and don’t get caught up in the material things of life. Be an Optimist and see the Cup as being Half Full. Before long your attitude will rub of on others. You can make the world a better place to live by simply making yourself a happier person.

You will permit me to conclude with an allegorical story.

First God created the Cow and said, “You must go with farmer daily to the field all day long and suffer under the Sun, have calves, give milk and help the farmer. I give you a span of sixty years.” The Cow said, “That’s surely Tough. Give me only twenty years. I give back forty years.”

On Day Two God created the Dog and told him, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at strangers. I give you a

span of twenty years.” The Dog said, “Too long time for barking. I give up ten years.”

On the third day God created the Monkey and said to him, “Entertain people. Make them laugh. I give you Twenty years.”

The Monkey said to God, “How boring, Monkey tricks for twenty years. Give me only Ten years”. Lord agreed.

On the fourth day God created Man. He told him, “Eat, sleep, play, enjoy and do nothing. I will give you twenty years.”

Man said, “Only twenty years. No way. I will take my Twenty and give me the Forty the cow gave back, the Ten that the Monkey returned, and the Ten the Dog surrendered. That makes eighty. O.K?”  O.K said God.

That is why for the First twenty years we sleep, play enjoy and do nothing.

For the next forty years we slave in the Sun to support our family.

For the next ten years we do Monkey tricks to entertain our grandchildren.

And for the last Ten years we sit in front of the house and bark at everybody.

"When you're Happy you enjoy the Music,

But when you're Sad you Understand The Lyrics"

શુક્રવાર, 13 એપ્રિલ, 2018

Exercising for a healthy heart

Heart Disease: Exercising for a Healthy Heart
Introduction
When you have coronary artery disease, it is very important to exercise regularly. If you aren't already active, your doctor may want you to begin an exercise program. Ask your doctor about taking part in a cardiac rehab program. Rehab can help you be more active and make lifestyle changes that can lead to a stronger heart and better health.
Even if you can only do a small amount of exercise, it is better than not doing any exercise at all.
• Talk to your doctor before beginning an exercise program. Your doctor may do an electrocardiogram (ECG or EKG) and possibly an exercise stress test to assess how much activity your heart can safely handle.
• After you start exercising, stop your activity immediately if you experience angina symptoms (such as chest pain or pressure), feel faint or lightheaded, or become extremely out of breath.
• Start an exercise program, such as walking, cycling, or jogging. Try to domoderate activity on most, preferably all, days of the week. Aim for a goal to exercise for at least 2½ hours a week.
• Exercise can help lower the chance of a heart attack.
• A complete exercise program consists of aerobic exercise, strength training, and stretching.
• Set goals you can reach. If you expect too much, you are likely to become discouraged and stop exercising.
   How can I get started on an exercise program?
How can I get started on an exercise program?
Getting started
• Have a thorough physical exam before you begin any exercise program. Your doctor may do an electrocardiogram (ECG or EKG) to measure the electrical signals that control the rhythm of your heartbeat, and he or she may do an exercise stress test to assess what level of activity your heart can handle.
• Before your appointment, make a list of questions to discuss with your doctor. For some general questions, see the exercise planning sheet(What is a PDF document?).
• Make an exercise plan together with your doctor. An exercise program usually consists of stretching, activities that increase your heart rate (aerobic exercise), and strength training (lifting light weights). Visit a library or bookstore for information on exercise programs. Join a health club, walking group, or YMCA. Many cities have senior centers that offer inexpensive exercise programs.
• Learn how to find the right intensity of exercise. To improve your aerobic power, you don't need to submit yourself to strenuous and uncomfortable exercise. In fact, an intensity of exercise called "conversational exercise" (where you can comfortably have a conversation while you are exercising) can be very beneficial.
• Start out slowly. Try parking farther away from the store or walk the mall before shopping. Over time, you will increase your ability to do more.
• Keep a record of your daily exercise. It is okay to skip a day occasionally or to cut back on your exercise if you are too tired or not feeling well.
How do I measure the intensity of my exercise?
Exercise intensity can be measured in many ways, for example as your:
• Rate of perceived exertion (RPE).
• Heart rate (HR).
Your doctor can tell you the correct rate of perceived exertion or how fast your pulse (target heart rate) should be when you exercise.
An easy way to check whether you are exercising enough, but not too much, is to note how hard you are breathing:
• If you can't talk and exercise at the same time, you are exercising too hard.
• If you can talk while you exercise, you are doing fine.
• If you can sing while you exercise, you may not be exercising hard enough.
How do I calculate my rating of perceived exertion (RPE)?
A rating of perceived exertion, or how hard you think your body is working, is a fairly accurate way to tell how much strain is put on your body during exercise.
Using a scale from 6 to 20, you choose a rating number to describe how difficult the activity feels based on how tired you are, how difficult it is to breathe, and how hard it is to do the activity.
It is important that you have a clear understanding of the perceived exhaustion levels associated with each number. A training intensity of 13 to 14 (or somewhat hard) would correspond to an exercise HR of approximately 70% HR max. It is important to use both physiological measurement such as HR and psychological monitoring such as RPE to get a clear and more accurate measurement of your overall intensity.
What is my target heart rate?
A target heart rate can guide you to how hard you should exercise so you can get the most aerobic benefit from your workout.
Your doctor can help you find out what your target heart rate is. Your target rate may be different from a person who does not have heart disease. This is especially true if you are taking medicine that affects your heart rate, such as beta-blockers, calcium channel blockers, or digoxin.
You can use your target heart rate to know how hard to exercise to gain the most aerobic benefit from your workout. You can exercise within your target heart rate to either stay at or raise your aerobic fitness level. To raise your fitness level, you can work harder while exercising, to raise your heart rate toward the upper end of your target heart rate range. If you have not been exercising regularly, you may want to start at the lower end of your target heart rate range and gradually exercise harder.
Target heart rate is only a guide. Each person is different, so pay attention to how you feel, how hard you are breathing, how fast your heart is beating, and how much you feel the exertion in your muscles.
How often should I exercise?
How often you should exercise depends on several factors. Some exercise programs recommend exercising a minimum number of days a week. The American Heart Association and other groups suggestmoderate activity for at least 2½ hours a week. One way to do this is to be active 30 minutes a day, at least 5 days a week. It's fine to be active in blocks of 10 minutes or more throughout your day and week. The best number of days for you may depend upon your time availability, your exercise intensity, the duration of each session, and of course, your overall goals. If you exercise at a lower intensity level, you may want to exercise more frequently. Studies have shown that no significant differences in aerobic capacity are found whether these are consecutive or alternate days. If you are trying to lose weight, talk to your doctor about how much exercise you need.
What about duration of exercise?
How long each exercise session lasts depends on the intensity of the exercise as well as your objectives. Of course, the higher your exercise intensity, the lower your exercise duration may be because of fatigue. You should gradually increase the duration of your exercise as your aerobic power increases. Try to exercise for at least 10 minutes at a time.
Drink plenty of water before, during, and after you are active. This is very important when it's hot out and when you do intense exercise.
How important is the mode of activity?
If you hold constant your exercise intensity, frequency, and duration, the mode (type) of activity you do can improve your aerobic power. You will get the most improvement from exercises that use the large muscle groups, such as walking, running, cycling, swimming, or rowing.
Which kind of exercise is best?
As long as you are exercising large muscle groups, choose an activity that you enjoy. For example, gardening and dancing can be excellent forms of aerobic exercise. Enjoying your mode of aerobic exercise will help you stick to your program, which will help you succeed. Achieving your aerobic goals, losing weight, increasing your energy, or developing a positive outlook will increase your enjoyment of the exercise.
Strength training is an important addition to your aerobic exercise program, because it strengthens and tones your muscles and increases the blood flow to your working muscles. Many daily activities and activities on the job require moving, lifting, or controlling a weight. Maintaining and improving your muscular strength and endurance will help you do these activities with less stress on your muscles. Increasing your strength will also increase yourmetabolism and energy level.
What type of strength-training exercises should I do?
The keys to a safe and effective strength-training program are function and balance. Function means that a muscle exercise should be directly related to its function. For example, the function of your bicep (muscle on the top front of your arm) is to bend your elbow by moving your lower arm towards your shoulder. An exercise to strengthen your bicep should therefore reflect the full range of this motion. Balance is achieved by strengthening complementary muscle groups (muscles that work opposite each other). For example, your bicep flexes your arm while your tricep (muscle on the top back of your arm) extends your arm; while your bicep contracts, your tricep lengthens.
A good program should also focus on the major muscle groups of your body, especially the muscle groups used in your daily life. Strength-training exercises are described in hundreds of magazines and fitness books and on television shows and websites.
If you are a beginner, choose exercises that contain simple motions, emphasize spinal stability, and focus on specific groups of muscles. Most advertised exercises are beneficial and safe if you keep control of the weight and use the proper technique throughout the exercise. Holding your breath while lifting puts extra strain on your heart, so always exhale when you are lifting any weight.
Working out with a partner is recommended to keep you safe during your strength training. A partner can make sure that you are lifting the appropriate amount of weight for each exercise and can check your form and technique.
What is resistance?
In strength training, resistance is the force that you are pulling against to work your muscles. A common type of resistance is weight. At your gym or fitness center, there are probably many different types of dumbbells and weight machines for you to use. But resistance for increasing muscle strength and endurance can come from other things besides weights and weight machines.
Your own body weight, elastic bands, and wall pulleys can provide effective and progressive strength training. Begin with a weight that you can easily carry through the required range of motion. You should only increase the resistance [gradually, or by 5 lb (2.5 kg) to 10 lb (4.5 kg)] when you can comfortably do the exercises and weights that you've been using for a few weeks.
If you have angina, heart failure, or other heart conditions, you may increase the number of times you do each exercise, but keep the resistance the same. Your movement should be slow and controlled at all times. If you feel that you cannot control the resistance, decrease the resistance or lower the weight. Avoid straining, and stop exercising if you feel symptoms such as dizziness, unusual shortness of breath, or any form of pain.
What are repetitions and sets?
Repetitions are the number of times you perform each exercise. For example, if you lift a dumbbell up and down once, that's 1 repetition (or rep). If you lift it 5 times, that's 5 reps. Sets are the number of times you do a certain number of repetitions. For example, if you lift the dumbbell 15 times, take a rest, and then lift it another 15 times, you have done two sets of 15 reps each.
The number of repetitions and sets you do depends on your strength-training goals. If you wanted big bulky muscles, you would do a few sets of a few reps with very heavy weights. But you may want muscular tone and endurance, which means a few sets of many repetitions with light or medium weights. A good place to start is with one set of 12 repetitions. You can gradually work up to 2 or 3 sets of 12 to 15 repetitions.
How can I stretch for flexibility?
Everyone can benefit from stretching exercises, regardless of age or flexibility. It is important for you to make stretching a part of your daily exercise routine. Stretching to increase flexibility should focus on the large muscle groups, and especially on the muscle groups that affect your posture and mobility.
Before beginning to stretch, warm up your muscles by walking or doing other gentle movement for a few minutes. You may injure your muscle or tendon if the muscle is cold and has not been used in a while. You should always stretch in a slow and controlled manner. Each stretching exercise should be repeated 3 to 5 times and held for 10 to 30 seconds each time. You should try to gradually increase your range of motion during each repeated exercise. A feeling of tension is normal, but do not hold a stretch that is painful.
General guidelines for stretching exercises
• Stretch before and after exercising.
• Stretch to a position of mild discomfort for 10 to 30 seconds for each stretch. Try each stretch 3 to 5 times.
• Control and hold without resistance.
• Be sure to stretch your lower back and your legs.
How can I include exercise in my daily routine?
Remember that even a little exercise is better than none at all. Here are some tips on building exercise into your daily routine:
• Get up 15 minutes early and stretch.
• Jog in place.
• Take a walk at lunchtime or after dinner. Use the stairs instead of the elevator.
• Walk to a coworker's office instead of calling or emailing.
• Get off the bus one or two stops early, and walk the rest of the way.
• Wash and wax your car by hand instead of driving through the car wash.
• When you go shopping, park farther away from the store.
• Take a brisk walk around the mall before you start shopping.
• Lift light arm weights while talking on the phone.
• Ride a bike.
• Wash the windows. Work in your garden or yard. Use a push mower instead of a riding mower.
• Walk the dog.
• Work out to an exercise video.
• Go dancing.
• Try to be active as a family, like playing tag or catch and taking active vacations.
How can I stay on my exercise program?
Staying on a regular exercise schedule requires discipline and motivation. At times, it may seem difficult to keep up with regular exercise and physical activity. But persistence pays off. There are specific steps you can take to make your exercise program more effective and also to help you stay with it:
• Try to make your exercise fun. Do activities you enjoy.
• Set realistic goals. If you expect too much, you are likely to become discouraged and stop exercising.
• Give yourself time. It can take months to get into the habit of exercising. After a few months, you may find that you are looking forward to it.
• Stay with it. It can be hard to stay with an exercise plan. Try exercising with a friend—it is much easier to continue an exercise program if you are exercising with someone else.
• Reward yourself. Build in rewards along the way that help you continue your program.
What measures should I take to stay healthy while exercising?
When starting an exercise program, keep the following precautions in mind:
• Pace yourself by alternating exercises. Rotate light workouts, such as short walks, with more strenuous exercises, such as low-impact aerobics or swimming.
• Avoid exercising outdoors in extreme temperatures or high humidity or poor air quality. When the weather is bad, try exercising indoors at a gym or walking at a mall.
• Avoid exercises that require or encourage holding your breath, such as push-ups, sit-ups, and isometric exercises. Also avoid heavy lifting.
• If you develop palpitations, angina symptoms, difficulty breathing, or dizziness or lightheadedness, stop exercising and rest. Call your doctor if these symptoms don't go away.
• Do not take hot or cold showers or sauna baths after exercising. Moderate temperatures are best—very hot or very cold temperatures can be dangerous.
• Ask your doctor about continuing your exercise program if your medicines change. New medicines can affect how you feel when you exercise.
• Take your pulse frequently or wear a heart rate monitor and keep your pulse within the parameters your doctor sets. Watch your pulse when walking up hills or stairs.
• Make sure you adjust your exercise program if it is interrupted for more than just a couple of days. Gradually increase to your regular activity level as tolerated.

ગુરુવાર, 12 એપ્રિલ, 2018

Prevent Alhzimer

Alzheimer's disease is a great monster, but it is not hard to do the proposed exercises and prevent it.

Alzheimer's can be prevented, by new technique to improve concentration, develop creativity and intelligence, by performing these simple exercises of Neurobics.

"Neuroscience" reveals that the brain has an extraordinary ability to grow and change the pattern of its connections.
The authors of this discovery, Lawrence Katz and Manning Rubin (2000), reveal that Neurobics, or "aerobic neurons" is a new form of brain exercise, designed to keep the brain agile and healthy, creating new and different patterns of behavior, and of the activities of the neurons in your brain.

About 80% of our day to day tasks are done on AUTO MODE (i.e. we do them without exercising our brain.)which despite having the advantage of reducing intellectual effort, hide a perverse effect: they limit and atrophy the brain, not allowing the renewal and growth of their neurons.
To counteract this tendency, it is necessary to practice some "brain exercises", which make the person think only about what they are doing, concentrating on that task. It is doing everything contrary to the routine, forcing the brain to an additional job.
Some of the exercises .
- Use the watch on the pulse opposite to the one that normally uses it.
- Brush the teeth with the opposite hand.
- Walk around the house, backward (in China, this routine is practiced in the parks).
- Dress with your eyes closed.
- Stimulate the palate with things of different flavors.
- See the photos, head down (or the photos, or you).
- Look at the time, in the mirror.
- Change the routine path to go and return home.
The idea is, to do some different things, so that you exercise the other side of your brain (the right one),
Well worth trying!
What if you start practicing right now, using your cell phone, with your other hand, and sending this message to your friends ... ???

સોમવાર, 9 એપ્રિલ, 2018

Doctors Vs Judges

Finally something for the doctors...

Dr Ramesh Ganesan asked a medico legal question
21 hours ago -

DO NOT  IGNORE.

"DOCTORS VS JUDGES":

Judiciary should also come under CPA (Consumer Protection Act).

"Every body must READ and SHARE this article.     

--In the Salman Khan hit and run case the LOWER court judge and the HIGH court judge had the SAME pieces of EVIDENCE to deal with.

--They also had the SAME Indian LAW to abide by and most probably they had similar education qualifications too.

--Yet they INTERPRETED the situation in absolutely CONTRASTING manner and gave verdicts which are poles apart.

--Just imagine what would have happened if a YOUNG doctor sitting in a GOVERNMENT hospital doctor catering to hundreds of patients in a day had diagnosed a celebrity patient presenting with gastric discomfort as GASTRITIS and another hospital had LATER on diagnosed that patient to be having a MYOCARDIAL INFARCTION. I am sure that doctor would have been screwed and jailed.

--A JUDGE gets YEARS to decide on a case
unlike a DOCTOR who is expected to diagnose and treat everything in the BLINK of an eye.

--If a doctor making a wrong diagnosis can be prosecuted shouldn't a judge giving wrong verdicts meet the same fate?

--If hospitals can be sued for not admitting poor patients shouldn't the courts be prosecuted for having lacs of impending cases?

--Is it not appalling that a judge taking 12 years to give a wrong verdict gets away unhurt and a doctor making one mistake is screwed by our legal system?

--Doctors practice medicine which is more of an art than an exact science whereas law is absolutely 100% manmade, yet doctors are expected to be right on all occasions.

--If doctors and hospitals have a duty towards the society then does the judiciary not have a responsibility towards the socitey.

--If there is so much of hue and cry in media about doctors and hospitals charging huge sums from patients then why do we not ever hear a word on the fee that lawyers like Manu singhvi and Jethmalani charge for their court appearances.

--Government often talks about putting a capping on the fees doctors charge for various procedures but their is no talk of putting a capping on the fee that these lawyers charge to get justice for their clients.

--If health is a citizen's right then so is justice. Shall we take our minds off worshipping false heroes & think?

*JUDICIARY SHOULD ALSO COME UNDER CPA (CONSUMER PROTECTION ACT)*

Please share if you agree.

10 Advices to handle families

*10 Advices from a SC Judge who handled family dispute courts.*

1.Don't encourage your son and his wife to stay under same roof with you. Best to suggest them to move out, even to the extent of renting a house.  It's their problem to find a separate home.
More the distance between you and your children's families, the better is the relationship with your in laws.

2.Treat your son's wife as his wife, not as your own daughter, maybe just treat her as a friend. Your son would always be your Junior  but, if you think that his wife is of the same rank and if you ever scolded her, she would  remember it for life.
In real life, only her own mother and not u will be viewed as a person qualified to scold or correct her.

3.Whatever habits or characters your son's wife has is not your problem at all, it is your  son's problem. It isn't  your problem as he is an adult already.

4.Even when living together, make each others businesses clear, don't do their laundry, don't cook for them and don't baby sit their children. Unless, of course, there is a special request by your son's wife and you feel that you're capable and don't expect anything in return.
Most importantly, you shouldn't worry about your son's family problems. Let them settle themselves

5.Pretend to be blind and deaf when your son and his wife are quarrelling.  It's normal that the young couple do not like their parents to b involved in the dispute between husband and wife.

6.Your grandchildren totally belong to your son and his wife. However they want to raise their children,  it is up to them.  The credit or blame would be on them.

7.Your son's wife need not necessarily  respect and serve you. It is the son's duty.  You should have taught your son to be a better person so that you and your son's wife relationship could be better.

8.Do more planning for your own retirement, don't rely on your children to take care of  your retirement. You had already walked through most of your journey in life, there are still a lot of new things to learn through out the journey.

9.It is your own interest that you enjoy your retirement years.  Better if you could utilise & enjoy everything that you had saved before you die.  Don't let your wealth become worthless to you.

10.Grandchildren don't belong to your family, they're their parents precious gift.

_The above message is not only for you, please share it with your friends,  parents, in-law, uncles, auntie, husband or wife to find peace & progress in life as it is based on life long experience of a judge who handled family dispute courts._

Things to be done in 2018

🇬‌🇸‌🇾‌🇫‌🎤
(G͟o͟l͟d͟ S͟m͟i͟t͟h͟ Y͟o͟u͟t͟h͟ F͟o͟r͟u͟m)
     *ᴵᵗ'ˢ ᵛᵒⁱᶜᵉ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘʳ ˢᵒᶜⁱᵉᵗʸ*
*2018  માં કરવા જેવા ખાસ અગત્ય ના કામ નહીં તો 2019 મા ખૂબ હેરાન થવાશે.*

(1)- આપના આધાર કાર્ડ માં મોબાઈલ નંબર, ઇમેઇલ id, સાચા update કરવા.

(2)- આધાર કાર્ડ અને PAN કાર્ડ માં એક સરખી પધ્ધતિ થી નામ રાખવા જો ના હોય તો આધાર કાર્ડ માં નામ PAN કાર્ડ પ્રમાણે જ કરાવવું.
દા. ત :
શાહ નિલેશ અરવિંદ (PAN)
શાહ નિલેશભાઈ અરવિંદભાઈ (આધાર)
આ નહીં ચાલે આ કેસ માં આધાર કાર્ડ નું નામ બદલવું જરૂરી છે.

(3)- નામ એક સરખા કારી ને આધાર કાર્ડ અને PAN કાર્ડ ને એકબીજા સાથે લિંક કરવા  (www.incometaxindiaefiling.gov.in)

(4)- વીમા પોલિસી, મેડિકલેમ પોલિસી ને આધાર કાર્ડ સાથે લિંક કરવા
(પોલિસી આપનાર કંપની આપની મદદ કરશે)
નોંધ: અત્યારે ફરજિયાત નથી પણ એકાદ વર્ષ માં 100% થઈ જશે આખું ગામ દોડશે ત્યારે દોડાદોડી કરવી, વિમાકંપની ના ધક્કા ખાવા લાઇન માં ઉભા રહેવુ..... વગેરે નાથાય માટે અત્યારે કરવું.

(5)- વધારા ના તમામ બેન્ક એકાઉન્ટ બંધ કરાવી દેવા (નવા આવનારા બેન્કિંગ એક્ટ પ્રમાણે એક નાગરિક બે જ સેવિંગ એકાઉન્ટ રાખી શકશે)
આ બાબત સામાન્ય લાગશે કે એમાં શું જ્યારે કરવા હશે ત્યારે કરી દેવાશે પણ એટલું સહેલું નથી કેમ કે વિચારશો તો ખ્યાલ આવશે કે એક માં પેંશન આવતું હશે, બીજા માં ગેસ ની સબસીડી આવતી હશે, ત્રીજા માં થી કોઈ લૉન ના EMI જતા હશે....વગેરે વગેરે......આબધું કોઈ એક બેન્ક માં ટ્રાન્સફર કરવા માટે અત્યાર થી જાગવું પડશે...

(6)-  વાહન માં નવી સિક્યુરિટી ફીચર્સ વળી Number Plate RTO જઈને બદલાવી....(ફરજીયાત છે )

(7)- વાહનો ની RC Book જમા કરાવી RC કાર્ડ મેળવવું.

(8)- સિટી સર્વે માંથી મિલકત ની માલિકી ની સાબિતી માટે પ્રોપર્ટી કાર્ડ મેળવી લેવું, જો પ્રોપર્ટી નામે ચડાવાની હોય અથવા ભાગ;લાગ મા આવતી મિલકત ને નામે લેવાની કે ચડાવાની હોય તો તુરંત ચડાવી દેવી,....મે 2018 પછી નોંધણી ફરજિયાત...છે
*માટે ત્યારે દોડાદોડી ન કરવી પડે*

(9)- વધારા ના મોબાઈલ નંબર ને વપરાશ માં નથી તે જેતે કંપનીઓ માં જઈને deactive કરવા

(10)- વધારા ના Deemate ડિમેટ અને ટ્રેડિંગ એકાઉન્ટ ને બંધ કરવા અને જે ડિમેટ account માં આપના લાખો ના કિંમતી share પડેલા છે તેને આધાર કાર્ડ સાથે લિંક કરવા...

(11)- સરનામું.
  સરનામું જે યોગ્ય છે તે પહેલાં બરોબર રીતે આધાર કાર્ડ માં update કરવું ત્યારબાદ વીમા કંપની, mutual fund કંપનીઓ, ડિમેટ account, બેંક account અને mobile કંપની માં આધાર કાર્ડ પ્રમાણે update કરવું...

(12)- બાળકો નું આધાર કાર્ડ કરાવવું
  અને પછી તે જેતે સ્કૂલ માં લિંક   કરાવવું

(13)- આપના ઘરે જે નોકર, કામકરવા વાળા, ડ્રાઈવર, માળી હોય તો એને પગાર રોકડ ના ચુકાવતા તેના બેન્ક એકાઉન્ટ માં ચૂકવવો જો એ લોકો નું બેન્ક એકાઉન્ટ ના હોય તો નજીક ની બેન્ક માં જઈને જનધન એકાઉન્ટ ખોલાવવું...
2018 ના બજેટ થી આ રૂપિયા incomtex માં બાદ મળશે...

(14)- મતદાર યાદી માં આપનું નામ ઉમેરવું, સુધારવું (આધાર કાર્ડ પ્રમાણે.....! )

( *માહીતી સાભાર* )

Financial tips

Financial Tips For 2018:

1. Avoid buying property on loans as it eats most of your earnings unless you have a clear plan for its repayment. It's important to monitor cash flow. Though, the house will be your asset, your liability will be much more.

2. Start a SIP at a very young age. Try to save atleast 15–25 % of your earnings.

3. Avoid buying a car unless you use it everyday.
.
4. Do not let this sentence scare you. “Mutual fund investment are subject to market risk. Please read the offer documents carefully before investing”. Most people avoid investing in mutual funds just because of this one warning. Yes, there is a market risk, but look at the history and growth of mutual funds.

5. Try having a simple wedding.

6. Atleast 20% of your wealth should be liquid so you can utilize it when necessary.

7. Considering inflation, you are actually losing money if it is in savings bank account. Do not keep huge money in savings bank account.

8. If you invest in stocks, pay due attention.

9. If you invest in stocks have a separate account for delivery investment and Intraday investment. It is easy to monitor this way and also makes tax calculation easy

10. Do not have a belief that property and car make you rich. Its what you save and invest, that is important.

11. Never invest in insurance for returns. Insurance is not an investment option. It is a risk management tool.

12. Never use credit cards for lavish spending. Use credit cards intelligently and for needs not for wants.

13. Cancel all credit cards before you die. Or inform family about all your accounts, credit cards, loans and saving now itself.  Even a small residue will cost your family much.

14. Invest on yourself and then on other investments.

15. Always try to balance your earnings with your savings first, then on  spending and loans. Never take unnecessary loans. Always have reserve and utilise them and unless no other go never take loan.

16. Always have a plan for future events on your career, life, spending and finance.

17. Always have a reserve on your savings for contingency and urgent situations.

18. Your personal life and health are the most important investment. Do have a regular health check and do healthy workout every day. Stay healthy and live happily.

19. Always remember death can come anytime.....so please do buy adequate term Insurance if you have dependents.

20. Prepare a Will. It may avoid unnecessary fights after you die.

*Think & Act smartly

શનિવાર, 7 એપ્રિલ, 2018

Wish good for others and it will come back

*Forwarded*
*Worth reading!!!!*

Good Life Lessons from the Current President of China 🇨🇳

President Xi Jing Peng of China 🇨🇳 said:

When I was a small child , I was very selfish, always grab the best for myself. Slowly, everyone left me and I had no friends. I didn’t think it was my fault but I criticize others.

My father taught me 3 sentences to help me in life.

One day, my father cooked 2 bowls🍲 🍲 of noodles put the 2 bowls on the table. One bowl has one egg on top and the other bowl does not have any egg on top.

He said ”My child. You choose. Which bowl do u want”. Eggs were hard to come by those days! Only get to eat eggs during festivals or New Year.

Of course I chose the bowl with egg 🥚. As we started eating. I was congratulating myself on my wise choice/decisision and wallop up the egg.

Then to my surprise as my father ate his noodles, there were TWO eggs 🥚🥚 at the bottom of his bowl beneath the noodes!

I regretted so much! And scolded myself for being too hasty in my decision.

My father smiled and said to me, ”My child. You must remember what your eyes see may not be true.

If u intent on taking advantage of people, u will end up losing!”

The next day, my father again cooked 2 bowls🍲 🍲 of noodles: one bowl with an egg on top and the other bowl with no egg on top.

Again, he put the two bowls on the table and said to me, ”My child. You choose, which bowl do u want?”

This time I am smarter. I chose the bowl 🍲 without any egg on top.

To my surprise, as I separated the noodles on top, there was not even a single egg at the bottom of the bowl!

Again my father smiled and said to me, ”My child, you must not always rely on experiences cos sometimes, life can cheat u or play tricks on u.

But u must not be too annoyed or sad, just treat this as learning a lesson .You cannot Learn this from textbooks.

The third day, my father again cooked 2 bowls🍲 🍲 of noodles, again one bowl with an egg on top and the other bowl with no egg on top.

He put the 2 bowls 🍲 🍲 on the table and again said to me, ”My child, You choose, which bowl do u want?”.

This time, I told my father, ”Dad, u choose first. You are the Head of the family and contributed the most to the family.

My father did not decline and chose the bowl with one egg on top. As I eat my bowl of noodles, Sure in my heart that there is no egg inside my bowl.

To my surprise! There were TWO eggs at the bottom of the bowl.

My father smiled at me with love in his eyes, ”My child, u must remember, when u think for the good of others, good things will always naturally happen to u!”

I always remember these 3 sentences of my father and lived and do my business accordingly. True enough, my business was a roaring success.

શુક્રવાર, 6 એપ્રિલ, 2018

Blessings in addition to medicines

ડૉ.શરદભાઇ અમદાવાદ શહેરના જાણીતા રોગ  નિષ્ણાંત

છે અને સાહિત્ય સર્જક છે.એમના જીવનનો આ યાદગાર

પ્રસંગ એમના જ શબ્દોમાં :

દવા ની સાથે સાથે દિલ થી કરેલી દુવાઓ પણ કામ કરે

છે -ડો.શરદ ઠાકર

“આ વાતને વીસ વર્ષ થયાં છે.

મારે ત્યાં દીકરાનો જન્મ થયો. સમય કરતાં એ ઘણો

વહેલો આવી ગયેલો. જન્મ સમયે એનું વજન માંડ દોઢ

કિલોગ્રામ. અત્યંત નબળો બાંધો. મારા મિત્ર ડૉકટરે

સલાહ આપી કે,તાત્કાલિક એને નારણપુરા ખાતેની એક

પ્રસિધ્ધ હૉસ્પિટલમાં લઇ જાવ. એને કાચની પેટીમાં ઘણો

લાંબો વખત રાખવો પડશે.

આખા અમદાવાદમાં એ સમયે માંડ બે-ત્રણ જગ્યાએ જ

કદાચ આ સુવિધા ઉપલબ્ધ હતી.

મારા દીકરાને દાખલ કર્યો. એ સમયે અન્ય નવજત

બાળકો પણ ત્યાં હતાં. બે-ત્રણ દિવસે એકાદ બાળક ઇશ્વરને

પ્યારું થઇ જતું હતું. હું ખૂબ જ હતાશ થઇ ગયો હતો.

ડૉક્ટર પણ એમના શક્ય તમામ પ્રયાસો કરતા હતા.મારા

દીકરાની સ્થિતિ ઘણી જ ચિંતાજનક હતી.

આ પરિસ્થિતિમાં મણિનગર ખાતેનું મારું દવાખાનું પણ

ચાલુ રાખવું જરૂરી હતું. કારણ મારા દર્દીઓને તકલિફ પડે,

તો જાય ક્યાં? હું આખી રાત મારા દીકરા પાસે રહેતો

અનેસવારે ઘેર આવી, નાહી-પરવારી સવારના દર્દીઓને

તપાસતો. બપોરે થોડોક આરામ અને સાંજની ઓપીડી

પતાવી, પાછો પહોંચી જતો દીકરા પાસે.

મારા દીકરાની હાલતમાં ખાસ કોઇ સુધારો જણાતો ન

હતો. આપરિસ્થિતિમાં એને અન્ય જગ્યાએ લઇ જવો પણ

કેવી રીતે?ડૉક્ટરે પણ ઉપરવાળાઉપર ભરોસો રાખવાનો

દિલાસો આપી દીધેલો.એક દિવસે સાંજના મારી ઓપીડી

પતાવી હું દીકરાને જોવા અધીરો થઇ રહ્યો હતો,

ત્યાં જ મારા સ્ટાફ નર્સે કહ્યું કે કોઇ મુસ્લિમ બાઇ આવી છે.

મેં કહ્યું કે, સમય પૂરો થઇ ગયો છે. કાલે આવવાનું કહો.



હું દરવાજા બંધ કરી બહાર નીકળી રહ્યો હતો ને એ

મુસ્લિમ બાનુ હાથ જોડી મને કરગરી રહીહતી.હું ગુસ્સે થઇ

ગયો. ‘મારે બહાર જવાનું છે. તમે કાલે આવજો.’ જવાબમાં

એ રીતસરની મારી સામેઝૂકી પડી. ‘સાહેબ, ખાનપુરથી

ચાલતાં આવ્યા છીએ.મારી હાલત જુઓ. અવતીકાલે પાછું

ચાલીને જ આવવું પડશે. દયા કરો સાહેબ, અલ્લાહ….

તમારા દીકરાને ખૂબ લાંબુ આયુષ્ય આપશે…..’

હું સડક થઇ ગયો. એનું છેલ્લું વાક્ય મારા હૃદયની

આરપાર નીકળી ગયું. પાછો વળી ગયો.

એ બાઇને ખૂબ શાંતિથી તપાસી, જરૂરી દવાઓ પણઆપી.

’કેટલા પૈસા આપું,સાહેબ?’એના હાથ ફરી જોડાઇ ગયા. હું

એને જોઇ જ રહ્યો. જે બાઇ આઠ-દસકિલોમીટર ચાલીને

આવી હોય. એની પાસેથી શું લઇ શકાય?

મારાથી બોલાઇ ગયું, ‘બહેન… તું મને ફરીથી દિલથી દુવા

આપ….મારા માટે એ જ તારી ફી છે.’

એ બાઇએ જીર્ણ થઇ ગયેલા સાડલાથી આંખો લૂછી ખરી,

પણ …. આભારવશ બનેલી એ આંખો કાબૂમાં ના

રહી.’અલ્લાહ…. આપકે બેટેકો લમ્બી ઉમ્ર દે….’

એના અંતરના આશીર્વાદ લઇ, હું જાણેહલકોફૂલ થઇ ગયો.

અને પછી જે ચમત્કાર સર્જાયો, એ આજીવન નહીં ભૂલાય.

મારા ફોનની ઘંટડી રણકી ઊઠી, ‘શરદભાઇ… ગુડન્યૂઝ.

ઇંગ્લૅંડથી મારા એકપરિચિત ડૉક્ટર આપણી હૉસ્પિટલમાં

આવ્યા છે.તમારા દીકરાને એમણે તપાસીઇંગ્લૅંડથી લાવેલું

એક ઇંજેશન પણ આપી દીધું છે, દીકરો રડી રહ્યો છે.

ડૉક્ટર મિત્રનું કહેવું છે કે, એ ઘણો જ સ્વસ્થ છે. ચિંતા

કરવાની કોઇ જરૂર નથી.


તમે જલદીથી દીકરાને મળવા આવીજાવ…’

હું હૉસ્પિટલ પહોંચ્યો, ઇંગ્લૅંડથી આવેલા ડૉક્ટર મને ભેટી

પડ્યા. ને હું હીબકે ચડી ગયો…. મારા દીકરાએ પણ મારી

સાથે સૂર પુરાવ્યો ત્યારે બંને ડૉક્ટરોની પણ આંખો ભીની

થઇ ગઇ.

કોણ કહે છે કે દુવાઓ નો પણ ધર્મ હોય છે?
🙏🏻

Value of life

એક પ્રખ્યાત વક્તાએ હાથમાં  2000 રૂપિયાની નોટ રાખીને ભાષણ આપવાનું શરૂ કર્યું.

આખો સભાખંડ ચિક્કાર ભરેલો હતો.

ભાષણ શરૂ કરતાં જ તેમને હાથમાં પકડેલી 2000 ની નોટ બતાવતા પૂછ્યું,

“કોને જોઈએ છે આ 2000  રૂપિયાની નોટ ?”

ધીમે ધીમે એક પછી એક હાથ ઉપર થવા લાગ્યા.

એમણે કહ્યું,

“ભલે,
જેટલાએ હાથ ઉપર કાર્ય છે તે બધાને હું આ 2000 ની નોટ આપીશ...

પણ

એ પહેલાં મારે કઈક કહેવું છે.”

એમ કહી એ 2000 રૂપિયાની નોટનો તેમને ડૂચો વાળી દીધો.

ખંડમાં સન્નાટો છવાઈ ગયો.

ચૂંથેલી એ નોટને તેમને ખોલીને ફરી પૂછ્યું,

“હજુ પણ આ 2000 ની નોટ કોને જોઈએ છે?”

ફરી હાથ ઉપર થવા લાગ્યા.

“ભલે” કહી એમણે એ 2000 રૂપિયાની નોટ જમીન પર ફેંકી દીધી

અને

તેના પર પગ મુકીને તે ચગદાયેલી નોટને ફરી હાથમાં લઇ ઉંચી કરીને પૂછ્યું.

“હજુયે આવી ખરાબ
અને
ધૂળવાળી નોટ કોને જોઈએ છે ?”

છતાંયે

બધાના ધીમે ધીમે હાથ ઉપર થવા લાગ્યા...

પછી

એમણે કહ્યું,

“મારા પ્રિય મિત્રો,

આજે આપણે ખુબ મહત્વની વાત શીખ્યા છીએ...

નોટને મેં ડૂચો કરી,
રગદોળી
છતાં તમારે તે જોઈએ છે,

કારણ કે તમને ખબર છે

કે

આનાથી એની કિંમત ઘટશે નહિ.

અત્યારે પણ તેની કિંમત 2000 રુપીયા જ છે.

આવી જ રીતે જીવનમાં આવતા સંજોગોને લીધે આપણે નીચે પડીએ છીએ,

ખોટા નિર્ણયો

કે

ભૂલને લીધે હતાશ,  નિરાશ થઇ સંકોચાઈ જઈએ છીએ.

આ નોટની જેમ જ ડૂચો વળી જઈએ છીએ

અને

આપણને લાગે છે

કે

આપણે સાવ નકામાં થઇ ગયા છીએ

પણ

એવું નથી.

કઈ પણ થાય છતાં આપણી કિંમત નથી ઘટતી.

આપણે બધા ખાસ છીએ આ વાત ક્યારેય ન ભૂલતા.”

આમ,

નાણાનું જે રીતે એક ચોક્કસ મુલ્ય છે એવું જ માનવજીવનનું પણ છે.

સંજોગોને લીધે તે પછડાય, કચડાય

– ગમે તે થાય
છતાં એક માણસ તરીકેનું તેનું મુલ્ય ઘટી જતું નથી...

પૈસા ના અભાવે જગત 1% દુઃખી છે,

પણ

નેગેટિવ ફીલીંગ્સ ના કારણે, 99% લોકો દુઃખી થાય છે......

Be Kind To Self

Be kind to yourself
after all no one is  perfect
so give yourself
the same love and respect

Be kind to yourself
you will fall n' you will cry
just brush away the dirt
rise up n' wipe your tears

Be kind to yourself
put a smile on your face
face the warm sunny side
leave dark shadows behind

Be kind to yourself
you are doing enough
don’t let failures  run you down
look for new opportunities around

Be kind to yourself
Rest when exhausted ,you can’t
help yourself or anyone else
when you yourself  feel unwell

Be kind to yourself
know  that you did your best
accept peacefully what you get
never blame self or feel oppressed

Be kind to yourself
Make sure you don’t talk negative
to yourself at any time
for when you are positively affirmative
you are always on the climb !

બુધવાર, 4 એપ્રિલ, 2018

A word to a daughter will all respect

જો આવી સલાહ દરેક                  દિકરીને મળે તો એક પણ દિકરી સાસરે દુખી ન થાય*

*એક દિકરી એ તેના બાપ ને પ્રશ્ન કર્યો કે પપ્પા હું જ્યારે સાસરે જઇશ તો શું તે બધા મને દિકરી ની જેમ રાખશે ?*

             *તો તેના પિતા એ બહુ જ સરસ જવાબ આપ્યો...*

                 *બેટા, તું અહીયા શું છે? તો દિકરી એ જવાબ આપ્યો : હું અહીંયા દિકરી છું તો તેના બાપે કહ્યું કે બેટા, અહીં તું દિકરી જ છે....* 
                *પણ ત્યાં તો તારે બહુ વધારે પડતી ભૂમીકા ભજવવાની છે જો કહું*
(1) પત્નિ

(2) દિકરી

(3) મા

(4) ભાભી

(5) જેઠાણી કે પછી દેરાણી...

               *આટલા બધા તારા અંશ હશે તો તને અહીંયા કરતા ત્યાં વધારે જણાં સાચવશે.*

        *પણ... ખાલી તારા વહેવાર ઉપર બધો આધાર છે જેમ કે અહીં તું રૂપિયા 10 ની વસ્તુ લેતા વિચારે છે કે મારા પિતા ના રૂપિયા ક્યાક હું વધારે નથી ખચઁ કરતી ને તેમજ ત્યાં તારી સાસરી માં જઇ તારે તારૂ અને આખા ઘર નું વિચારવાનું કે રૂપિયા 5 નું પણ લેતા એમ વિચારજે કે હું મારા ઘર ના રૂપિયા ખોટા તો નથી વાપરતી ને પછી જોજે તારી સાસરીમાં અહીં કરતા કેમ રાખે છે? બીજું કે અહીં તો મેં તને 20 કે 25 વરસ સાચવી એટલે આતો તું ભાડુઆત હતી મારી પણ બેટા*

                      *એ ઘર તો તને આખી જીન્દગી નામ આપે છે તો ત્યાં તારે બધાને સાચવવાના છે જો તું સાચવીશ તો તે તને 10 ગણું સાચવશે...*

                   *પિતા એ પછી કાનમાં દિકરી ને કહ્યું કે બેટા જો કોઈને કહેતી નહીં હું જે કહુ છું તે સાચું છે.*

                    *તારે જીન્દગીમાં દુ:ખી ના થવું હોય તો તેનો મંત્ર છે આખા જીવન ભર દુ:ખ નહી આવે,*

                  *તો દિકરી એ કહ્યું: એવું શું છે પપ્પા? તરતજ પિતા એ કહ્યું કે*

(1) પિયર ઘેલી ના થતી.
(2) તારી મમ્મી નુ ક્યારેય ના સાંભળતી.
(3) કંઇ પણ વાત હોય તો સાસુ, સસરા, દિયર, નણંદ, જેઠ-જેઠાણી કે દિયર- દેરાણી બધાં સાથે બેસી ને ખુલ્લા દિલ થી વાત કરજે.!

                *તારા જીવન મા દુ:ખ ભગવાન પણ નહીં લાવે તો બોલ બેટા અહીંયા સારું કે સાસરીયું સારું? તરત દિકરી બોલી પપ્પા તમારી વાત ખરેખર સાચી કે જેમનું નામ મરણ પછી પણ મારા સાથે જોડાઇ રહે તે જ મારો પરીવાર અને એ જ મારા સાચા માતા-પિતા છે અને દિયર મારો નાનો ભાઇ છે, જેઠ મારા મોટા ભાઇ અને બાપ સમાન છે, દેરાણી મારી બહેન છે, જેઠાણી મારી મોટી બહેન છે અને મા સમાન છે અને નણંદ મારી લાડકી દિકરી છે.*‼

*હા, પપ્પા મને તો અહીં કરતાં ત્યાં ધણું ફાવશે .....હું આખી જીન્દગી આ યાદ રાખીશ અને દરેક દિકરી ને આમ જ કરવાની સલાહ આપીશ કે આપણું ઘર તે આપણે જ સાચવવાનું છે આપણા પિયરીયાને નહીં..*

🌹👍👍

જે મજા સંપીને રહેવામાં છે તે અલગ માં નથી..🌹🌹🌹🌹

   
                          *દરેક માતા-પિતા અને ખાસ કરીને દીકરીઓ એ વાચવા જેવુ અને જીવન માં ઉતારવા જેવું જે અત્યારે દરેક દીકરી ને જરૂરી છે.